I guess my only message for my daughter, really at this point wouldn't be how much I love her... I tell her that every day. It wouldn't be how much I miss her when she is gone, Lord knows I tell her that 100 times a day. Nor how much fun she can be to be around. It would be that she really needs to always understand.... People are ignorant and afraid to ask.
When Cai started school I had my fears. I had my doubts, my concerns, and all of my questions. After all this wasn't like sending any child to school; this was my child. She was not so much different rather BETTER than the others ;)
While attending school she has been picked on, questioned, looked at, and judged. The odd part is, so have I. Whether I am parking in the handicap section, walking her inside while other parents just stay in their cars, or helping her get her wheel chair out of the office where they store it for her, we are constantly questioned and stared at.
I always assumed that being plagued by a disability would circumference those types of actions; I never knew people who do it to a 5 year old. They tell me I need to buy her new shoes so she wont fall. They tell me I shouldn't park in the handicap section without a handicap. They tell me I shouldn't try to walk her in every single day. I should tell them to back off and not be such ignorant people.
If only they knew that regardless of the shoes she has on, her muscles are deteriorating at such a rapid pace she will always fall for what appears to be no reason. If only they knew to look into my car to see the blue hanging tag on my mirror; not all handicapped individuals look handicapped. If only they knew that I walk her in because the front door is far too heavy for her to open by herself; she is only 45 pounds. If only they knew.
Caileigh will know. She will know that people are rude. She will know that people are scared to ask so they form assumptions. She will know that they stare because she is beautiful inside and out; and that's something they will never be. She will know that regardless of her difficulties she will overcome so much. I can promise you one thing, She will know.
People are so stupid. I hate that for you and for Cai. She will grow up a much better person by learning from such ignorant and judgemental people.
ReplyDeleteAnd she will be a stronger and better person for the trials she goes through mama! You can tell the love you have for her even here. Thats what she needs most. She will learn more from watching you on how to handle life than she will from any words. Keep at it, you rock!
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